


Ringtones

by latinkilledtheromans



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:18:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2448383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latinkilledtheromans/pseuds/latinkilledtheromans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone changed all the ringtones in Derek's phone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ringtones

1.

They were at the restaurant, arguing over pizza toppings, when music interrupted them.

"I want to get the Hawaiian one!"

"No, Isaac, we’re not! Pineapple does not belong on pizza!"

"So get your own, why do you—"

 _'I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vics._ ’

"Um. Derek. Is that your phone?"

 _'His hair was perfect._ ’

 "No." He pulled it out anyway. The screen read ‘JACKSON’.

‘ _Werewolves of London again. Aw—_ ”

Derek answered the call quickly. “Hello?” He glared at his betas, trying to figure out which one of them had changed his ringtone. Jackson didn’t need anything important, he was just calling to check in. Because that was a thing he did now. It was kind of weird.

When he got off the phone, his betas were still arguing about pizzas. “Just get your own pizzas and stop worrying about what Isaac is eating.” He glared at his phone for a minute, as if it would tell him who had messed with it on its own, then shoved it back in his pocket.

2.

He was sitting on the couch, reading a book, when his phone rang again.

 _'There's a she wolf in the closet,_ _Open up and set it free, awooooo_.’

Derek growled, shoving his book aside and hunting for the noise. When he read the phone’s screen he rolled his eyes. ERICA.

 _'There's a she wolf in the closet,_ _Let it—_ ’

"What."

"Hey, Derek, can you pick me up from school?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"Isaac and Boyd have lacrosse practice still."

She sighed into the phone. “Yeah, Isaac and Boyd do, but I don’t. What am I supposed to do? Do you know how boring it is to watch their practice? I’m not doing it again!”

"Then walk." He hung up, throwing the phone onto the table.

Peter sauntered into the room, one eyebrow raised. “Was that your ringtone?” Derek just shrugged. “Interesting.” Then he left again.

Derek just huffed and went back to his book.

3.

 _'There's a she-wolf in the closet_.’

Derek frowned at the pot of spaghetti that he was cooking. Why was Erica calling him? She was here.

He went out into the living room to find his phone and walked into a roomful of giggles.

"Yeah, Shakira!" Erica yelled.

"What are you doing?"

"Testing a theory," she said. "Isaac, you next."

He pressed send on his phone, and Derek’s phone lit up in Erica’s hand.

‘ _Gravedigger. Gravedigger, When you dig my grave, could you make it shallow so that I can feel the rain_.’

He pouted as he ended the call. “Oh come on, it’s not like there aren’t any more wolf songs.”

"It’s pretty rude," Boyd agreed. He pulled his own phone out.

Derek scowled. “Give me back my phone.”

"Hang on, just one more—"

‘ _Hungry like the wol_ —’ Derek reached over the couch and pulled the phone out of her hand.

Just then, Peter walked in. “Oh, is dinner ready?”

4.

When country music started blaring through the Camaro, Derek growled so loudly that Isaac cowered in the passenger seat.

‘ _Yeah, I’m a lone wolf, I’ve been chased and I’ve been bit, Yeah, I’m a lone_ —’

"Hey, have you heard from Stiles?" Scott asked as soon as he picked up the phone.

"No." Lone wolf, really? What, just to rub it in Derek’s face that Scott wouldn’t join him?

"Uh … okay. You sound kinda angry about something. Are you sure you haven’t heard from Stiles? Not that he would have made you angry, I mean. He’s just … missing?"

Isaac pulled his own phone out and started texting furiously.

"Where are you?"

"I’m at Deaton’s. Stiles was supposed to meet me here an hour ago. He’s not answering his phone."

"I’m on my way." Derek tossed the phone at Isaac and turned the car around.

"Erica says that she and Boyd haven’t heard from him either. Want me to ask Peter?"

"No."

They were just pulling into the parking lot behind the vet clinic when Derek’s phone rang again.

‘ _Hey there Little Red Riding Hood. You sure are looking_ —’ **  
**

"Stiles?"

"Hey. So uh, don’t freak out."

"Why are you whispering?"

"Um, I may have gotten kidnapped by some pixies? And I don’t want them to hear me and figure out I’ve still got my phone." There was a pause. "At least I think they’re pixies. I mean, I’ve never dealt with any before but like I have seen drawings online and stuff and I read the beastiary and there was a section on fairy-type creatures and like pixies were in there and I think—"

"Stiles."

"Sorry. I’m in the Preserve somewhere. But I’m not sure where. I’m in a cave? Do you know any caves?"

Derek thought for a minute. Isaac had already gotten out of the car and run inside to fetch Scott. They came back now, climbing into the Camaro with him. “I think I might know some caves. I don’t know if those are the ones you’re in.”

"Whatever. I trust you. Just—ah! No! No give that back!" His voice got farther away, as if someone had taken the phone, and then the line went dead.

"Is Stiles okay? That was Stiles, right? Where is he?"

"Should we call Erica and Boyd? They could help!"

Derek threw the car into gear and sped out of the parking lot. They might not have time to wait for them to get there.

5.

"You know," Stiles said sarcastically, "when I imagined my daring rescue, this wasn’t exactly how I imagined it going." He leaned back against the cave wall, shifting so that he was leaning into Derek’s side. "Why are caves so cold? We aren’t even that far underground."

Isaac scooted over to his other side, snuggling up as if he was trying to keep him warm. It must have helped, because Stiles leaned away from Derek again, into the other werewolf.

The pixies were swarming outside the mouth of the cave. There were a lot more than Derek had expected. Trust Stiles to get in way over his head. Somehow. No one really had any idea why Stiles had gotten kidnapped in the first place, or why they had just thrown Derek and Isaac in with him. But they seemed pretty much unfazed by werewolf claws and teeth, so they really had no choice but to wait for Scott to run and get help.

"Next time I just won’t help you then," Derek snapped.

"Well I’m sorry I ruined your day by having my life threatened  _again_ , I know how  _inconvenient_  that must be for you.”

"Why did you call Derek?" Isaac asked suddenly. Stiles and Derek just stared at him. "I mean, why didn’t you call Scott?"

Derek could feel him shrug against his side. “You know. I thought Derek would know the Preserve better. Maybe he might know where I was. And he did. So.”

Listening to his heartbeat, he could tell that Stiles wasn’t lying, but at the same time he was pretty sure that wasn’t the entire truth. He was about to ask him about it when his phone rang out, loud in the quiet cave. This time it was just a tune, no lyrics, and Stiles hissed at him to shut it up before the pixies heard.

"What."

Stiles scoffed at him. “You need to work on your phone etiquette dude. Does Peter know how to kill pixies?”

Across the line, Peter’s voice came through. “Yes, actually. They can be killed with iron. Also, if you turn your clothes inside out, they won’t be able to see you.”

"Why?"

"They’re pixies, Derek. I don’t understand how they work."

Derek hung up the phone. “We can kill them with iron.”

"That’s great. But we’re in a cave," Stiles pointed out unhelpfully.

He stood up suddenly, shrugging off his jacket and pulling his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?" Stiles asked.

"I have a crowbar in the Camaro." He undid his pants and started pulling them off.

"So that means you have to get naked?" Stiles’ voice was strangely high, and when Derek glanced over, he realized that he was staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Pixies can’t see you if you turn your clothes inside out," he explained gruffly. "At least, that’s what Peter said." He flipped his jeans and pulled them back on again, hoping that this would work.

"What was your ringtone for Peter?" Isaac asked. "I recognized tune."

“ _Peter and the Wolf_ ,” Stiles said distractedly, watching Derek turn his shirt inside out.

"Oh, that’s a good one." He hummed slightly. "How come I didn’t get a wolf one?"

"I’ll give you a new one tomorrow," he muttered.

Derek glared at him. “It was you?”

"Huh?"

"You changed all my ringtones?" He pulled the shirt over his head, which probably diminished the effects of his death glare, but Stiles didn’t seem to notice it anyway.

"You didn’t know? How could you not know? Who else would it be?"

He stalked out of the cave without bothering to answer.

"Should we help him?" Stiles asked as he left.

"He’s probably only got one crowbar," Isaac pointed out.

"Cool. Let’s wait here then."

Derek just really hoped this inside-out clothes thing actually worked.

+1.

So, the good news was, Peter was right. Derek walked right out past the pixies. They didn’t even notice him. And it turned out, Peter was also right about iron killing them. With just one minor detail.

Pixies apparently exploded.

It was disgusting.

One touch from the crowbar, and their skin just sorta burned off and the whole pixie would explode in a shower of blood and grossness. Which might have been okay if they only had one or two pixies, but they had a whole swarm to deal with.

By the time he was done killing all the pixies, Derek was covered from head to toe in pixie pieces. He didn’t think he’d ever get clean.

Meanwhile, Stiles and Isaac just stood inside the cave and stared at him with a disgusted look on their face.

Derek looked down at his clothes, and with a sigh, started cutting them off with his claws. There was no way he was getting back in the Camaro like this, and he really didn’t want to touch them any more than he had to.

The inside of his shirt was relatively clean, so Derek wiped his face off with that before slicing off his pants and standing there in his underwear and socks. No, scratch that, even his socks were soaked. They had to go too.

Isaac cleared his throat rather pointedly, and when Derek looked up, Stiles turned away quickly and started poking through the grass, a slight blush on the back of his neck.

"Hey, so the pixies took my phone, and I think they just threw it around here somewhere," he said.

"Want me to call it?" Isaac asked.

"Yeah, thanks." He stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets dejectedly. "Hopefully they didn’t break it or—"

‘ _Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf_ —’

"Oh my god no."

‘ _The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf_ —’

"You were supposed to use  _your own phone, Isaac_.”

‘ _Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, Tra la la_ —’

He pounced on a pile of grass and came up with his phone, stopping the song. His face was bright red as he stared at it, studiously avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"Well, it’s not broken," Isaac said gleefully.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr! This fic is at http://latinkilledtheromans.tumblr.com/post/99794520863/5-1-ringtones.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Songs:  
> Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon  
> She wolf - Shakira  
> Lone Wolf - Hank Williams Jr  
> Lil’ Red Riding hood – Sam the Sham & the Pharohs  
> Gravedigger – Dave Matthews  
> Hungry like the wolf – Duran Duran  
> Peter and the Wolf - Sergei Prokofiev  
> Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf – Barbra Streisand


End file.
